ABCD

((The page is set up like the missed connections area of Craigslist, with a list of messages from an individual to a person they weren't able to communicate with at the time.)) Personals > Missed Connections You: Clinging to hood of your stolen wienermobile, trying to reach into engine to unstick throttle Me: Screaming, diving out of the way You: Vaguely human silhouette Me: At bottom of wishing well with harpoon gun You: Confused UDP packet Me: Cisco router in 45.170 16 block You: Baddest fuckin' Juggalo at Violent J's party Me: Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) You: Getting married to me Me: Also getting married, but distracted by my phone You: Cute boy on corner of 4th & Main, 5'11, 169lbs, social security number 078-05-1120, pockets contained $2.09 in change, keys, and a condom. Retinal scan attached Me: Driving street view van You: George Herman "Babe" Ruth Me: Fellow Time Lord. Saw your tardis on third moon of <<Sentence cuts off, partially obscured by bottom of panel>> {{Title text: The Street View van isn't going to find out anything Google won't already know from reading my email.}}