ABCD

They've endowed a separate prize in Physiology or Medicine or Stopping Dr. Adams.

It's like one teraspoon / when all you need is a kilonife

I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet.

It's a myth that the Great Wall of China is the only human-made structure visible from space--there are LOTS of structures for us to feel self-conscious about!

The list includes polio, Guinea worm, and this one particular enterovirus strain that they've been tracking out of spite after it went around the lab a few years ago.

The bruises on my fingertips are my proof of work.

"9 out of 10 dentists have banned me from their offices."

"röntgen" and "rem" are 20th-century physics terms that mean "no trespassing."

"The slope will be 74° at ground level." "Okay, I think we can hack together a ... wait, why did they specify ground level? It's 74° everywhere, right? ... Oh no, there's a whole section in the treaty labeled 'curvature.'"

Anna Karenina is a happy family lumper and unhappy family splitter.

I'm so glad NASA let you take your phone to Mars!

Oh, wait, I might've had it set to kph instead of mph. But that would make the discrepancy even wider!

Honestly feel a little sheepish about the amount of time and effort I spent confirming "yes, the vaccine helps protect people from getting sick and dying" but I guess everyone needs a hobby.

I've been working on chocolate bar annealing techniques to try to produce the perfect laser s'more. Maybe don't mention that on the grant application though.

Sorry, in SI units that's "there's a big football in there."

And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together, but then more heaven kept appearing to replace it, as if the scroll was infinite.

We've almost finished constructing the piña collider.

I tried to train an AI to repair my Python environment but it kept giving up and deleting itself.

Geometry textbooks always try to trick you by adding decorative stripes and dotted lines.

Some personal news: After treating my first case a few years ago with antibiotics, I can report that I have now had appendicitis for the second and--unless something extremely unexpected happened with the surgery--final time.

Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.

This is something we all need to work on, but especially you all.

Unless the next line is, "After we broke up, she blamed the painting and spent years planning her revenge, so my sorrow is mixed with relief that the dogs at least denied her that triumph."

Grandma's shelf-stable blackberry pie meson recipe was a huge seller until her farm was shut down by a joint FDA/NRC investigation.

Backward-compatible with many existing cables, and can connect directly to phones or tablets if you press them down hard enough.

I'm hoping 2022 is relatively normal because I don't know what symbol comes after the asterisk and the dagger.

How could anyone consider themselves a well-rounded adult without a basic understanding of silicate geochemistry? Silicates are everywhere! It's hard to throw a rock without throwing one!

I was really impressed by the accuracy of some of the report's predictions about fossil fuel consumption. Then I realized, oh, right, of course.

Remember to only adopt domesticated drones that specifically request it. It's illegal to collect wild ones under the Migratory Drone Treaty Act.

The only other person to walk by was a linguist back in the 80s, but she just spent a while dissecting the phrase 'help me down' before getting distracted by a squirrel and wandering off.

In C, the multiocular O represents the bitwise norxondor gorgonax.

This data is actually going into improving our self-driving car project, so hurry up--it's almost at the minefield.

The plug fits really snugly, so it should be safe in a crash.

We trained it to produce data that looked convincing, and we have to admit the results look convincing!

Small devices use two-prong USB-AC, but there's also a three-prong version with a USB-B plug as the ground.

"Epsihootamoo doopsiquorps" --the Schrödinger equation for the hydrogen atom

In the final vote, the doubters were won over by the strength of the name IMMUNION.

I wonder what year I'll discard the last weird food item that I bought online in early 2020.

The projection for those who think the Mercator projection gives people a distorted idea of how big Greenland is, but a very accurate idea of how big it SHOULD be.

Listen, you need to get over your reluctance to permanently alter a game. Now roll 2d6 to determine how many ounces of soda to spill into the box.

It's definitely not the time to try drinking beer before liquor.

Several of the guests are secretly playing Meta Board Game Party. Every minute of parallel debate in the breakaway faction earns double victory points!

Charsets even used to be known as 'alpha-bets' before that word's obvious negative associations caused it to die out.

"All the companies whose blimps I shot fireworks at are mad, but MetLife is especially miffed because I dressed up as the Red Baron."

I'd traverse it myself, but it's singly linked, so I'm worried that I won't be able to find my way back to 2021.

The problem with learning about biology is that everyone you meet is it.

"Oh, and our computers all have cameras now, which is nice during the pandemic lockdowns." "The WHAT."

Key West, Virginia is not to be confused with Key, West Virginia.

You can come on in, we're all fully vaccinated. Except the spare room off the living room. Don't go in there, we're not fully vaccinated in there.

"Although fresh juice DOES sound--" "NO! For humanity to survive we must learn from the mistakes of the past."

Stay right there, we'll be back in a minute. We've just gotta brainstorm some new wonders. Have you all figured out gears yet? Yes? Crap.

Sure, you can talk about per-capita adjustment, but if you want to solve the problem, it's obvious that this is the group you need to focus on.

You'd need to keep track of so many people! Would you use, like, Excel or something? Far too fancy for a simple country nanoenzyme developer like me.

Gotten the Ferris wheel operator's attention

"Okay, that was weird, but the product reveal was normal. I think the danger is pas--" "One more thing." "Oh no."

If there's no dome, how do you explain the irregularities the board discovered in the zoning permits issued in that area!?

It's cool how, when there's a number lots of people are curious about, but which isn't easy to measure, some random guess will get cited everywhere and become the universally quoted value. Unrelatedly, did you know there are 850 trillion waves in the ocean?

"I have nothing to offer but blood--next slide, please--toil--next slide, please--tears, and--next slide, please--sweat."

Junior astronomers hate getting put on board update duty, but someone's gotta make sure that stuff is still up there.

People ask me whether I feel any moral qualms about the source of the points, but if he hadn't introduced factory farming to Agricola, someone else would have.

Oh no, they set up a roadblock which is just a sign with the entire 'Czech hedgehog' article printed on it.

Ontology is way off to the left and geography is way off to the right.

In Dimensional Chess, every move is annotated '?!'.

Who knew you could learn so much about sexual reproduction from looking at pictures on the internet!

[One hill over, a competing astrophotographer does a backflip over a commercial airliner while throwing a tray of plastic space stations into the air, through which a falcon swoops to 'grab' the real one.]

The key to discovering life on Mars is to find someone who built a camera and landed it on Mars. Then you just look through the pictures for plants and dogs and stuff.

NASA may not want to admit it, but at this point they ARE the 90's Kid Space Program.

I built a model that combines local case rates and vaccination stats to estimate when it's reasonable to attend various types of party, but I forgot to include anything about where to find them.

"I've traveled here from the year 2020 to bring you this vaccine!"

I think of myself as the David Attenborough of factory mailing equipment.

I'm looking forward to having to worry a lot less about covid, but wouldn't mind if we worried a little more about giving each other colds. Colds are bad!

Others include "We've incrementally improved the estimate of this coefficient," "Maybe all these categories are wrong," and "We found a way to make student volunteers worse at tasks."

All our teams make an effort to stay optimistic, but I will say that once our virus division saw the vaccine efficacy data, they started asking for payment up front.

"You still can't walk into someone's house without being invited!" "What? Oh, I see your confusion. No, this vaccine is for a bat VIRUS. I'm fine with doorways and garlic and stuff."

Extremely rude how Turing's later formulations of the halting problem called me out by name specifically.

Mile High Club membership [✓] [ ] Discovery of parts of Amelia Earhart's skeleton [ ] [ ] Mid-flight incident that results in safe landing on the Hudson River [✓] [ ]

We've learned that weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology description are apparently the key to good research; luckily, we've developed an AI tool to help us figure out where to add them.

As if these problems weren't NP-hard enough.

Because they orbit the Earth every 90 minutes, some astronauts should try to argue that, due to CDC regulations and time zone technicalities, they should be able to get their second dose just 30 or 40 hours after their first.

When you get to hell, tell smallpox we say hello.

I still think the Cold Stone Creamery partnership was a good idea, but I should have asked before doing the first market trials during the cryogenic mirror tests.

Ugh, it's stuck to my laptop. It must have bound to the ACER-2 receptor.

Check check check ... chhecck chhecck chhecck ... check check check

Plot twist: Thanks to [mumble mumble] second-order [mumble] Rayleigh-Taylor [mumble] turbulent [mumble] shear, it turns out powered flight is way EASIER on Mars!

I don't care whether you win or lose, as long as you have-- ...okay, sorry, I'm being reminded I very much care whether you win or lose. I need you to win, that's very important.

Although regardless of how everything else shakes out, I definitely won't mind if the norm "wear a mask if you're feeling sick" sticks around after this.

I'm actually not sure if Vader and the Emperor count as a household or if Vader lives in that weird black egg thing or what.

Luckily, unlike in our previous study, we have no reason to believe Evangeline the Adulterator gained access to our stored doses.

For sentimental reasons, every active Mars rover is counted as one person, although that's not enough to make Mars more than a dot.

Alexa defeated her in a battle hinging on the ability to set multiple timers.

[Future update] Well, someone accidentally dropped an M&M in their cup of ice water, and we all panicked and scattered.

( MSTE ( AR ) CD )

Pythagorean means are nice and all, but throwing the median in the pot is really what turns this into random forest statistics: applying every function you can think of, and then gradually dropping the ones that make the result worse.

I can't wait until I'm fully vaccinated and can safely send chat messages in all caps again.

I just Googled 'roomba sojourner mod' and was sorely disappointed. Be the change, I guess!

Manage cookies related to essential site functions, such as keeping Atrus and his sons imprisoned within the page.

I've lived in the present for my whole life and I'm not about to move now.

Plus a shirt that says "it feels like you're making eye contact."

"Cumulative number of coronavirus spreadsheets created over time" is a spreadsheet I am coming dangerously close to creating.

The best part of crashing a Mars briefing is you can get in a full 11 minutes of questions before they can start to respond.