ABCD

Perseverance Microphones

If the first audio they downlink is from the descent, we probably won't be able to hear anything over the sound of the rover screaming.
If the first audio they downlink is from the descent, we probably won't be able to hear anything over the sound of the rover screaming.

Animal Songs

Dr. Fauci is not permitted to have a cat, because as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, his petting one would be considered giving aid and comfort to an allergen.
Dr. Fauci is not permitted to have a cat, because as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, his petting one would be considered giving aid and comfort to an allergen.

mRNA Vaccine

To ensure lasting immunity, doctors recommend destroying a second Death Star some time after the first.
To ensure lasting immunity, doctors recommend destroying a second Death Star some time after the first.

Normal Conversation

"I think I'll pass. These days I have a hard time feeling comfortable in crowded bars with loud music and lots of shouting." --me, after the pandemic, but now for a second reason
"I think I'll pass. These days I have a hard time feeling comfortable in crowded bars with loud music and lots of shouting." --me, after the pandemic, but now for a second reason

Project Orion

If you tune out again, when you tune back in you'll be hearing about dusty plasma fission fragment rockets.
If you tune out again, when you tune back in you'll be hearing about dusty plasma fission fragment rockets.

Vaccine Ordering

You know what they say: mRNA-1273 before tozinameran, you'll have to slay a banshee in a catamaran.
You know what they say: mRNA-1273 before tozinameran, you'll have to slay a banshee in a catamaran.

Tower of Babel

Soon, linguists will be wandering around everywhere, saying things like "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" and "more people have been to Russia than I have," and speech will become unintelligible.
Soon, linguists will be wandering around everywhere, saying things like "colorless green ideas sleep furiously" and "more people have been to Russia than I have," and speech will become unintelligible.

Appliances

If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.

Hug Count

I've never been that big of a hug person, but it turns out I'm not quite this small of a hug person either.
I've never been that big of a hug person, but it turns out I'm not quite this small of a hug person either.

Metacarcinization

Scientists still don't know how marine biologists manage to so consistently bring up whalefall ecosystems, when relevant conversational openings are so few and far between.
Scientists still don't know how marine biologists manage to so consistently bring up whalefall ecosystems, when relevant conversational openings are so few and far between.

1/1,000th Scale World

We're worried that a regular whale will get into a 30-foot-deep ocean trench section and filter-feed on all the tiny whales.
We're worried that a regular whale will get into a 30-foot-deep ocean trench section and filter-feed on all the tiny whales.

Trash Compactor Party

What an incredible smell you've discovered.
What an incredible smell you've discovered.

Allow Captcha

To prove you're human, please click all the number pairs that appear together in your Social Security number.
To prove you're human, please click all the number pairs that appear together in your Social Security number.

Solar System Compression Artifacts

Most of our universe consists of dark matter rendered completely undetectable by our spacetime codec's dynamic range issues.
Most of our universe consists of dark matter rendered completely undetectable by our spacetime codec's dynamic range issues.

Pulsar Analogy

The #2 cause of astronomer hand injuries is trying to do vector math when the second axis points off to the right.
The #2 cause of astronomer hand injuries is trying to do vector math when the second axis points off to the right.

1/100,000th Scale World

The floor should be slightly curved, but we haven't figured out artificial gravity yet, so for now we just added a trace intoxicating gas to the air that messes with your inner ear and gives you a sense that the ground is tilting away from you.
The floor should be slightly curved, but we haven't figured out artificial gravity yet, so for now we just added a trace intoxicating gas to the air that messes with your inner ear and gives you a sense that the ground is tilting away from you.

1/10,000th Scale World

OCEAN PLAY AREA RULES: No running, no horseplay, no megatsunamis, and no trying to pry the wreck of the Titanic off the bottom.
OCEAN PLAY AREA RULES: No running, no horseplay, no megatsunamis, and no trying to pry the wreck of the Titanic off the bottom.

Apple Growers

Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll be able to resume our apple-focused updates, because we have SO MUCH to say about Cosmic Crisp.
Hopefully in a couple of weeks we'll be able to resume our apple-focused updates, because we have SO MUCH to say about Cosmic Crisp.

Steepen the Curve

1. Flatten the curve. 2. Steepen the curve. 3. Hang out.
1. Flatten the curve. 2. Steepen the curve. 3. Hang out.

Egg Strategies

Neutral Evil is for people who like keeping the weight nicely centered in the carton, but also hate everyone else who wants that.
Neutral Evil is for people who like keeping the weight nicely centered in the carton, but also hate everyone else who wants that.

Depth and Breadth

A death-first search is when you lose your keys and travel to the depths of hell to find them, and then if they're not there you start checking your coat pockets.
A death-first search is when you lose your keys and travel to the depths of hell to find them, and then if they're not there you start checking your coat pockets.

Viral Vector Immunity

We've secretly replaced this customer's instant coffee with our patented substitute. Let's see what she ... uh oh, I think she spotted us through the window. Now she's getting something from the closet ... oh jeez, she has a sword! Run!!
We've secretly replaced this customer's instant coffee with our patented substitute. Let's see what she ... uh oh, I think she spotted us through the window. Now she's getting something from the closet ... oh jeez, she has a sword! Run!!

Flash Gatsby

Protip: At midnight your excuse for not having read The Great Gatsby can switch from "I'm worried about violating copyright" to "I think my copy requires Flash."
Protip: At midnight your excuse for not having read The Great Gatsby can switch from "I'm worried about violating copyright" to "I think my copy requires Flash."

First Thing

Then I'm going to go on a weeks-long somatic hypermutation bender, producing ever-more targeted antibodies, while I continue to remain distanced and follow guidance from public health authorities.
Then I'm going to go on a weeks-long somatic hypermutation bender, producing ever-more targeted antibodies, while I continue to remain distanced and follow guidance from public health authorities.

Wrapping Paper

Wow, rude of you to regift literally every gift that you or anyone else has ever received.
Wow, rude of you to regift literally every gift that you or anyone else has ever received.

Into My Veins

"Okay, for the last time, the shot is free, so we can't--" "Shut up and take my money!"
"Okay, for the last time, the shot is free, so we can't--" "Shut up and take my money!"

Conjunction

The IAU is sad to announce that at 00:39 UTC on December 22nd, Jupiter and Saturn did unfortunately come into contact, and appear to have blooped together.
The IAU is sad to announce that at 00:39 UTC on December 22nd, Jupiter and Saturn did unfortunately come into contact, and appear to have blooped together.

Statistics

We reject the null hypothesis based on the 'hot damn, check out this chart' test.
We reject the null hypothesis based on the 'hot damn, check out this chart' test.

2020 Election Map

There are more Trump voters in California than Texas, more Biden voters in Texas than New York, more Trump voters in New York than Ohio, more Biden voters in Ohio than Massachusetts, more Trump voters in Massachusetts than Mississippi, and more Biden voters in Mississippi than Vermont.
There are more Trump voters in California than Texas, more Biden voters in Texas than New York, more Trump voters in New York than Ohio, more Biden voters in Ohio than Massachusetts, more Trump voters in Massachusetts than Mississippi, and more Biden voters in Mississippi than Vermont.

Vaccine Tracker

*refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo. *refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo.
*refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo. *refresh* Aww, still in Kalamazoo.

I Just Don't Trust Them

I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.
I believe in getting immunity the old-fashioned way: By letting a bat virus take control of my lungs and turn my face into a disgusting plague fountain while my immune system desperately Googles 'how to make spike protein antibodies'.

Wonder Woman 1984

'Wait, why would you think a movie set in 1984 would do drive-ins as a retro promotion?' 'You know, 80s stuff. Drive-in movies. Britney Spears doing the hustle. Elvis going on Ed Sullivan and showing off his pog collection.' 'What year were you born, again?'
'Wait, why would you think a movie set in 1984 would do drive-ins as a retro promotion?' 'You know, 80s stuff. Drive-in movies. Britney Spears doing the hustle. Elvis going on Ed Sullivan and showing off his pog collection.' 'What year were you born, again?'

Covid Precaution Level

It's frustrating to calibrate your precautions when there's only one kind of really definitive feedback you can get, you can only get it once, and when you do it's too late.
It's frustrating to calibrate your precautions when there's only one kind of really definitive feedback you can get, you can only get it once, and when you do it's too late.

Contiguous 41 States

Linguists, settling some inscrutable grudge, have been steadily sneaking more backdated synonyms for 'sharing borders' into the dictionary. They've added 'contiguous,' 'coterminous,' 'conterminous,' and next year they're adding 'conterguous.'
Linguists, settling some inscrutable grudge, have been steadily sneaking more backdated synonyms for 'sharing borders' into the dictionary. They've added 'contiguous,' 'coterminous,' 'conterminous,' and next year they're adding 'conterguous.'

Presidential Middle Names

The bottom of the list remains unchanged. Poor Rutherford Birchard Hayes.
The bottom of the list remains unchanged. Poor Rutherford Birchard Hayes.

Cyber Cafe

Since we haven't really settled on a name for those online hangout/work spaces that try to recreate the experience of cafes, and I love confusion, I'm going to start calling them 'cyber cafes' or 'internet cafes.'
Since we haven't really settled on a name for those online hangout/work spaces that try to recreate the experience of cafes, and I love confusion, I'm going to start calling them 'cyber cafes' or 'internet cafes.'

Life Before the Pandemic

I can't wait until this is all over and I can go back to riding my horse through the mall.
I can't wait until this is all over and I can go back to riding my horse through the mall.

Linguists

"Do you feel like the answer depends on whether you're currently in the hole, versus when you refer to the events later after you get out? Assuming you get out."
"Do you feel like the answer depends on whether you're currently in the hole, versus when you refer to the events later after you get out? Assuming you get out."

Unread

I'll never install a smart home smoke detector. It's not that I don't trust the software--it's that all software eventually becomes email, and I know how I am with email.
I'll never install a smart home smoke detector. It's not that I don't trust the software--it's that all software eventually becomes email, and I know how I am with email.

Viral Quiz Identity Theft

[scrolling through a giant spreadsheet of transcribed data] 'Wow, a surprising number of users grew up at 420 69th St.' 'Yeah, must be a high-rise or something.'
[scrolling through a giant spreadsheet of transcribed data] 'Wow, a surprising number of users grew up at 420 69th St.' 'Yeah, must be a high-rise or something.'

Blair Witch

"Are you concerned the witches won't breed in captivity?" "Honestly, we're more concerned that they WILL. We don't know what it involves, but our biologists theorize that it's 'harrowing.'"
"Are you concerned the witches won't breed in captivity?" "Honestly, we're more concerned that they WILL. We don't know what it involves, but our biologists theorize that it's 'harrowing.'"

Ten Years

The ten-year cancerversary is traditionally the Cursed Artifact Granting Immortality anniversary.
The ten-year cancerversary is traditionally the Cursed Artifact Granting Immortality anniversary.

Final Exam

For those of you also taking Game Theory, your grade in that class will be based on how close your grade on this exam is to 80% of the average.
For those of you also taking Game Theory, your grade in that class will be based on how close your grade on this exam is to 80% of the average.

Set in the Present

She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]
She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]

Electoral Precedent 2020

He also broke the streak that incumbents with websites are unbeatable and Delawareans can't win, creating a new precedent: Only someone from Delaware can defeat an incumbent with a website.
He also broke the streak that incumbents with websites are unbeatable and Delawareans can't win, creating a new precedent: Only someone from Delaware can defeat an incumbent with a website.

Ballot Tracker Tracker

Good luck to Democrats in the upcoming Georgia runoff elections, and to the Google Sheets SREs in the current run-on elections.
Good luck to Democrats in the upcoming Georgia runoff elections, and to the Google Sheets SREs in the current run-on elections.

The True Name of the Bear

Thank you to Gretchen McCulloch for fielding this question, and sorry that as a result the world's foremost internet linguist has been devoured by the brown one. She will be missed.
Thank you to Gretchen McCulloch for fielding this question, and sorry that as a result the world's foremost internet linguist has been devoured by the brown one. She will be missed.

Election Impact Score Sheet

You might think most people you know are reliable voters, or that your nudge won't convince them, and you will usually be right. But some small but significant percentage of the time, you'll be wrong, and that's why this works.
You might think most people you know are reliable voters, or that your nudge won't convince them, and you will usually be right. But some small but significant percentage of the time, you'll be wrong, and that's why this works.

Probability Comparisons

Call me, MAYBE.
Call me, MAYBE.

Fall Back

Doing great here in the sixth and hopefully final year of the 2016 election.
Doing great here in the sixth and hopefully final year of the 2016 election.

xkcd Phone 12

New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).

Curbside

The state has had so many contact tracers disappear into that shop that they've had to start a contact tracer tracing program.
The state has had so many contact tracers disappear into that shop that they've had to start a contact tracer tracing program.

Worst Ladder

[Six months later] "Well, our 'worst ladder' subscription series was a surprisingly lucrative success, but was completely canceled out by the losses from the disastrous Home Depot merchandising tie-in."
[Six months later] "Well, our 'worst ladder' subscription series was a surprisingly lucrative success, but was completely canceled out by the losses from the disastrous Home Depot merchandising tie-in."

10,000 Hours

I'm proud to announce that as of this year I've become a world-class expert at chewing.
I'm proud to announce that as of this year I've become a world-class expert at chewing.

Chemist Eggs

Chemists actually find it simpler to define a general odor of rotten eggs as a baseline, and the LACK of rotten eggs as a distinct smell.
Chemists actually find it simpler to define a general odor of rotten eggs as a baseline, and the LACK of rotten eggs as a distinct smell.

Dialect Quiz

Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?
Do you make a distinction between shallots, scallops, and scallions? If you use all three words, do they all have different meanings, all the same, or are two the same and one different?

Election Screen Time

Feels like I picked a bad year to try to start having a healthy relationship with political news.
Feels like I picked a bad year to try to start having a healthy relationship with political news.

Prediction

You'd think it'd be easy to just bet money against these people, but you have to consider the probability of them paying up.
You'd think it'd be easy to just bet money against these people, but you have to consider the probability of them paying up.

All-in-One

Changes with this update: If you use the combined scan-shred function, it now performs them in that order instead of the reverse, saving a HUGE amount of CPU time.
Changes with this update: If you use the combined scan-shred function, it now performs them in that order instead of the reverse, saving a HUGE amount of CPU time.

Bigger Problem

Your point that the world contains multiple problems is a real slam-dunk argument against fixing any of them.
Your point that the world contains multiple problems is a real slam-dunk argument against fixing any of them.

Masks

Haunted Halloween masks from a mysterious costume shop that turn you evil and grow into your skin score a surprisingly high 80% filtration efficiency in R. L. Stine-sponsored NIOSH tests.
Haunted Halloween masks from a mysterious costume shop that turn you evil and grow into your skin score a surprisingly high 80% filtration efficiency in R. L. Stine-sponsored NIOSH tests.

Amelia's Farm Fresh Cookies

I told her I'd take her address off the packaging if she'd stop submitting anonymous food safety complaints about my bakery to the health department, but she sent me a note that said NO DEAL along with an extra large batch of cookies.
I told her I'd take her address off the packaging if she'd stop submitting anonymous food safety complaints about my bakery to the health department, but she sent me a note that said NO DEAL along with an extra large batch of cookies.

Messaging Systems

SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.
SMS is just the worst, but I'm having trouble convincing people to adopt my preferred system, TLS IRC with a local server and a patched DOSBox gateway running in my mobile browser.

Parity Conservation

Bloody Mary is made of antimatter. It explains so much.
Bloody Mary is made of antimatter. It explains so much.

Message Boards

(c) You can have a scooter when you pay for it yourself, and (d) if you can't learn to start a new thread rather than responding to an old one, you'll be banned. [thread locked by moderator]
(c) You can have a scooter when you pay for it yourself, and (d) if you can't learn to start a new thread rather than responding to an old one, you'll be banned. [thread locked by moderator]

Volcano Dinosaur

Phylogeneticists are working on identifying and notifying its next of kin.
Phylogeneticists are working on identifying and notifying its next of kin.

Voting

'Wait, our state has mail voting. The forms are literally on the kitchen table.' 'Not now, I'm busy researching which channels have sharks in them.'
'Wait, our state has mail voting. The forms are literally on the kitchen table.' 'Not now, I'm busy researching which channels have sharks in them.'

Common Star Types

This article is about Eta Carinae, a luminous blue hypergiant with anomalous Fe[ii] emission spectra. For the 1998 Brad Bird film, see The Iron Giant (film).
This article is about Eta Carinae, a luminous blue hypergiant with anomalous Fe[ii] emission spectra. For the 1998 Brad Bird film, see The Iron Giant (film).

Evidence of Alien Life

Both too cautious AND not cautious enough: "I'm skeptical that those are aliens, so I'm going to try pulling off their masks."
Both too cautious AND not cautious enough: "I'm skeptical that those are aliens, so I'm going to try pulling off their masks."

Gravitational Wave Pulsars

The most important attributes of a vector in 3-space are {Location, Location, Location}
The most important attributes of a vector in 3-space are {Location, Location, Location}

Polls vs the Street

Other pollsters complain about declining response rates, but our poll showed that 96% of respondents would be 'somewhat likely' or 'very likely' to agree to answer a series of questions for a survey.
Other pollsters complain about declining response rates, but our poll showed that 96% of respondents would be 'somewhat likely' or 'very likely' to agree to answer a series of questions for a survey.

Constellation Monstrosity

It's rare to get both astronomers and astrologers equally mad at you, but apparently I've messed up both a bunch of star location databases AND the will of the fates.
It's rare to get both astronomers and astrologers equally mad at you, but apparently I've messed up both a bunch of star location databases AND the will of the fates.

University COVID Model

I admit this is an exaggeration, since I can think of at least three parties I attended while doing my degree, and I'm probably forgetting several more.
I admit this is an exaggeration, since I can think of at least three parties I attended while doing my degree, and I'm probably forgetting several more.

Stellar Evolution

It may remain in equilibrium for some time, slowly growing, and then suddenly become significantly redder.
It may remain in equilibrium for some time, slowly growing, and then suddenly become significantly redder.

Hurricane Hunters

Our flight gathered valuable data on whether a commercial airliner in the eye of a hurricane can do a loop.
Our flight gathered valuable data on whether a commercial airliner in the eye of a hurricane can do a loop.

Synonym Date

We need some grub to munch--I'll go slouch over to the kitchen.
We need some grub to munch--I'll go slouch over to the kitchen.

Standard Model Changes

Bugs are spin 1/2 particles, unless it's particularly windy.
Bugs are spin 1/2 particles, unless it's particularly windy.

Deer Turrets

When my great grandfather designed the Titanic and it hit an iceberg and sank, he didn't sit around moping. He took those lessons to his next job designing airships, and he made the Hindenburg completely iceberg-proof!
When my great grandfather designed the Titanic and it hit an iceberg and sank, he didn't sit around moping. He took those lessons to his next job designing airships, and he made the Hindenburg completely iceberg-proof!

Rabbit Introduction

Washington state is seeing great success with reintroducing the Columbia River Basin subpopulation. We cannot allow them to further widen the interstate bun gap.
Washington state is seeing great success with reintroducing the Columbia River Basin subpopulation. We cannot allow them to further widen the interstate bun gap.

Boat Puzzle

'No, my cabbage moths have already started laying eggs in them! Send the trolley into the river!' 'No, the sailing wolf will steal the boat to rescue them!'
'No, my cabbage moths have already started laying eggs in them! Send the trolley into the river!' 'No, the sailing wolf will steal the boat to rescue them!'

Dependency

Someday ImageMagick will finally break for good and we'll have a long period of scrambling as we try to reassemble civilization from the rubble.
Someday ImageMagick will finally break for good and we'll have a long period of scrambling as we try to reassemble civilization from the rubble.

COVID Risk Comfort Zone

I'm like a vampire, except I'm not crossing that threshold even if you invite me.
I'm like a vampire, except I'm not crossing that threshold even if you invite me.

Wish on a Shooting Star

Congratulations to whoever wished for revenge on a forest near the Tunguska River, a 1980 Chevy Malibu in Peekskill NY, Alabama resident Ann Hodges, every building in Chelyabinsk with glass windows, and the non-avian dinosaurs.
Congratulations to whoever wished for revenge on a forest near the Tunguska River, a 1980 Chevy Malibu in Peekskill NY, Alabama resident Ann Hodges, every building in Chelyabinsk with glass windows, and the non-avian dinosaurs.

26-Second Pulse

There are some papers arguing that there's a volcanic component, but I personally think they're just feeling guilty and trying to cover the trail.
There are some papers arguing that there's a volcanic component, but I personally think they're just feeling guilty and trying to cover the trail.

Mathematical Symbol Fight

Oh no, a musician just burst in through the door confidently twirling a treble clef.
Oh no, a musician just burst in through the door confidently twirling a treble clef.

Exposure Notification

I don't see why everyone is so hungry for BAD news, but fine, I'll give in to feedback and add a dark mode.
I don't see why everyone is so hungry for BAD news, but fine, I'll give in to feedback and add a dark mode.

Scientist Tech Help

I vaguely and irrationally resent how useful WebPlotDigitizer is.
I vaguely and irrationally resent how useful WebPlotDigitizer is.

Cosmologist Genres

Inflationary cosmologists call all music from after the first 10^-30 seconds "post-"
Inflationary cosmologists call all music from after the first 10^-30 seconds "post-"

Pods vs Bubbles

Canada's travel restrictions on the US are 99% about keeping out COVID and 1% about keeping out people who say 'pod.'
Canada's travel restrictions on the US are 99% about keeping out COVID and 1% about keeping out people who say 'pod.'

Faraday Tour

I asked them if it was safe to be running tours during the pandemic. They said, "During the what?"
I asked them if it was safe to be running tours during the pandemic. They said, "During the what?"

Asterisk Corrections

I like trying to make it as hard as possible. "I'd love to meet up, maybe in a few days? Next week is looking pretty empty. *witchcraft"
I like trying to make it as hard as possible. "I'd love to meet up, maybe in a few days? Next week is looking pretty empty. *witchcraft"

Campfire Habitable Zone

Oh no, my marshmallow became tidally locked!
Oh no, my marshmallow became tidally locked!

Photo Deposit

It's okay, they scan the serial numbers and make sure you can't deposit the same bill more than once.
It's okay, they scan the serial numbers and make sure you can't deposit the same bill more than once.

Slide Trombone

Remember the CPS 2000, the super soaker that was discontinued because it was too powerful? Relatedly, can I borrow your tuba?
Remember the CPS 2000, the super soaker that was discontinued because it was too powerful? Relatedly, can I borrow your tuba?

COVID Risk Chart

First prize is a free ticket to the kissing booth.
First prize is a free ticket to the kissing booth.

Cursed Chair

The Wirecutter staff called the Herman Miller Siege Perilous "the most cursed product we've ever had to fight" and "nearly as immortal as it boasts."
The Wirecutter staff called the Herman Miller Siege Perilous "the most cursed product we've ever had to fight" and "nearly as immortal as it boasts."

Hamster Ball 2

The worst is being teased by responsible, mask-wearing teens. They even spritz the hamster ball with disinfectant before rolling it, carefully avoiding the filter vents.
The worst is being teased by responsible, mask-wearing teens. They even spritz the hamster ball with disinfectant before rolling it, carefully avoiding the filter vents.

Acceptable Risk

Good thing I'm not already prone to overthinking everyday decisions!
Good thing I'm not already prone to overthinking everyday decisions!

Universal Rating Scale

There are plenty of finer gradations. I got 'critically endangered/extinct in the wild' on my exam, although the curve bumped it all the way up to 'venti.'
There are plenty of finer gradations. I got 'critically endangered/extinct in the wild' on my exam, although the curve bumped it all the way up to 'venti.'

Space Basketball

My shooting will improve over the short term, but over the long term the universe will take more shots.
My shooting will improve over the short term, but over the long term the universe will take more shots.