ABCD

[On phone] Girl: I know you're not that into my sister, but she's really crushing on you. Boy: Yeah, it's awkward. Girl: She's in a rough spot. It's a lot to ask, but could you take her out and ... dissuade her, without rejecting her? Boy: Wait a second. Are you asking me to show her a mediocre time? Girl: I know it's a weird-- Boy: [Raising index finger.] No, no! This is the mission I was _born_ for. Girl: I figured you could handle it. Boy: One of my classic high-school dates coming up! Girl: Oh God. Don't overdo it. [Alt text: To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story.]